Twisting of the points -- that basically spells out my moods of late. I suppose fear of not having enough quality time and common grounds in the near future sends people (like me) into fibrillations, and all our thoughts jumble up. Coupled with tiredness... the world just spins in the opposite direction.

Woke up this afternoon with a dull headache, as if I was drunk with depression the night before. Maybe, I truly was, after devastating moments with mishaps that just weighed so heavily. Optimism, I'll get to you when I'm done with Worry. I can't believe I'm such an optimistic pessimist, I'm actually digging for silver linings in an obviously drowning notion. :( Still, it was nice knowing you bothered. LY!

I know Im kinda late but I've finally watched (500) Days of Summer. It was not long enough, in my opinion, certain things should've been elaborated on more. But overall it was good, it was funny, and..."because I wanted to!"

There are more shows I have watched and want to watch, actually.

It's okay, I can survive with the nagging feeling of this and I shall take my time blogging bout the rest. and WoW, now I'm at a loss of words already. It's like I have expressive aphasia and nothing that makes sense is coming out. I probably need a good long vent. But I have nothing to say. Nothing would make me happier for the moment that spending time with some friends and enjoying a nice, happy meal without any worries.

Anyway, I thought I should just clear some overdue post/pictures (for archiving purposes). Here are some pictures taken during Idham's and Fairuz's birthday surprise. Definitely MORE on FB. IMAGE HEAVY ahead (:



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I remembered watching this movie and teared in between the sad scenes. Still cant believe it; How could such 3D cartoon do that to me!? (Haha!) Nonetheless, it made me believe, top my aspiration and boost my inspiration about certain aspects of life.

I wanna grow old with you and do amazing stuffs with you.
Life's indeed an adventure...

Love, Nin.

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Yes. I took a break from all the readings. A bar of kit-kat would be nice (:

Now, allow five minutes of your time and look up the sky. When you put things in perspective everything seem so silly: we’re just fragments of the universe, and yet we can spend our whole lives fretting about stretch marks, big noses, small breasts, chubby fingers. what the hell?

Does it really seem worth it? How much of your day do you spend worrying: she’s prettier than me. oh my bum looks so big in these pants. oh she’d never choose me over him. oh that sounded so dumb. oh oh oh oh. Think of what you could be DOING with that time? What you could be thinking. BEAUTIFUL POWERFUL THOUGHTS. A new invention, a new story, the solution to a problem. You could be doing so much more. Embrace that time. For every silly negative thought think two positive ones. Yes, it’s hard. but eventually it won’t be.

Ive got no mood or whatsoever inspiration or motivation to blog recently. Somehow holidays doesnt spell like holidays to me. Firstly, maybe because FINALS are due in the coming two weeks. I got into surgical and im really thankful for that. I wanted to work and im pretty confident I would get the job instantly if I go for it but nah... i've decided that I should spent the remaining two weeks doing revisions, pampering myself. go for runs watch movies, retail therapies. And subsequently, be confident and do well for Finals. and whats in after finals have pretty much been decided.

Im getting kinda pissed with the cyber space too. Dont know if it's the lappy or the connection or just simply the space itself. but whatever it is, im pissed. I cant seem to mass upload pictures too and it's very annoying.

So Yan passed his TP and dad made a schedule for us on who gets to use the car and when. Bummer. Cant wait to get a car which I can call it my own. no wait, it's still going to be shared. another bummer. Saiful finally got a job at (insert a place here). So kudos. I wont have to hear him complain of boredom anymore. On the other hand, sis' finally on holiday and that means one thing. I have to spent some of my time- playing barbie dolls, watch Dora & HSM & Barney, and her recent addiction to Upin and Ipin. Drives me to the road of madness sometimes, but then again, how I love to see her happy (: Cheers to the sibling-hood!

I have three overdue entries. But I am not going to publish it until I got all the pictures uploaded. So thank you again for visiting fellow readers!

Have a good week ahead!

Love, Nin.

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It rained early this morning. I guess I was too tired and empty to rejoice in it, like I usually do. Rather, I was annoyed that it woke me up just several minutes before my alarm clock was set to ring. A few slices of dreamland stolen.

Had to drive sis to grandma's about an hour ago. The rain was pouring down so heavily that visibility was reduced to just the car before me on the highway, in my book, that makes for difficult driving. Couldn't even see the road markings; and that coupled with my fear that the car will just combust with me in it... wasn't so good. Nonetheless, I'm back home. safely.

Alright people! I've finally packed my bag and I'm leaving!



Till then. Miss me. because I'm gonna miss you. :D

Enjoy your weekend lovelies!

Lots of love, Nin.

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It's been raining quite a bit lately. I'm swamped with things to type, and I don't know where to begin. Kenny G's 'Loving You' is pretty. The sound of saxophone never fail to make my heart melt. Regardless. Absolutely awesomezz! ((:

Almost one week down. Doom.

Just promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you (:

-- I texted someone that yesterday and I thought I'd share it with everyone else here.

On a side note, I found this while having my daily dosage of you-tube-ing;


The thing I love about John is that he makes you admit to so many things people normally wouldnt. The quiet sighs, resigned anger and half hearts perfectly lonely. Truth is, people are okay when they figure what to feel and how to react. It's the grey areas and could-be's and what-if's that bother. There are people I dont care about that were probably hung up because of that. If I had known a "you dont matter to me" couldve been so liberating, I would have said it sooner. Well, we all grow and acquire inference skills, dont we? I wish John wrote a song about that, even though it might not make a good listen.

I'll go back on the things I believe,
There I just said it.

I feel old. Am I supposed to be thinking so maturely? Somehow, looking at strangers who look to be about the same age, I feel much older. My friends and collegues, on the hand, don't make me feel old. Maybe it's because we're all ageing prematurely from trying to maintain a schedule that's in the same category as working and studying full time. Is that suppose to make me feel better? Haha! I dont know. you decide.

Just be there, always.

Love, N.

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Lately, I've been having weird dreams and at the same time having songs play endlessly in my sleep. I awake with music blasting in my little frontal lobe. My limbic system is not happy with that. Rainfall has been 5 times that of last month's. Amazing difference. Driving remains scary in the rain. Accidents galore. I was just telling Zi, the weather's perfect to emo. and he replied, it's even better to tido (sleep). Hahahaha! That rhymes!

Have been meddling around FB for the past hour or so. It still amaze me how much you can learn about people in mere seconds of facebooking. and if you top it up with blog hopping, you could probably solve the jigsaw puzzle of one's life. But then again, how and what you depict whats on that jigsaw puzzle, varies accordingly.

People. They are such weird man-like things, filled with such irony and so many surprises. There are always those few people you pass by at a glance in the past and a few years later, you meet again. I honestly wonder if there's such a thing as fate.

Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Someone told me this, not long ago. Go for the man/woman of deeds and not for the man/woman of words, for you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man/woman you love but with the man/woman who loves you more. The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow but never too far to feel the love within your being.

To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving; it only means that you allow that person to find his/her own happiness without expecting him/her to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting something in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don’t have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.

Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love, that doesn’t mean you failed in love.

Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

There are two ways to live your life: One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive, no past so bitter that love cannot accept, and no love so little that we cannot start all over with.

Well done Nin. The strike of sudden inspiration has got you typing so much. and congrats to you readers who has read this far. Haha! I think I'm gonna sleep early tonight. I suspect heavy downpour to come. Gonna sleep through the rain! YAY! It's time to invest in some soothing novels too. Volume 1 of Christy Miller Collection. 3 Novels in one. Well, I'm too free, I suppose. heh (:

Lots of love, Nin.

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Tomorow will be the fourth day into A&E. For the past couple of days, had a great experience being in the front line. Cross paths with alot of unexpected people and situations that kinda force me to make instant decisions and react in a certain way. Both in political and social aspects of life. There's barely anytime to think. What more to waste. Everything has to be on the fingertips. just be on the ball and keep rolling. Nice, awkward, uncomfortable, amazing emotions all in one bucket. haha. Don forget the stress level plunges up quite a few times and I learn that being Kanchong-spider in the A&E is a need.

Staffs been very gereks. Cross paths with Ezree again. He's posted there after grad. Catch up abit on Imran (and I dont wish to elaborate further). Been working alot with Abang Hanafi. Scheduled to Observation and Triage with him. Resus; with Abang Azhar. Treatment; with Kak Shikin. and most of the time we're under the wings of SSN Khairul. He's one great person. Oh yes, he has the exact same name as Khai (Coolios!) It did freak me out a lil at first. Haha!

Case presentation due on Friday. 2 more days left before concluding the emergency dept. posting. Say hello to holidays again before FINALs. I dont sound excited at all. No idea why.



Alright the clock just strike twelve. I'm going to catch some telly and then knock off.

I miss you much.

Lots of love, Nin.

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The dynamics of friendship, of acquaintances, of the people that pass through our lives, have always intrigued me; I’ve had some really close friends, and some of them have drifted so far away; it really kind of sounds like a sappy love song, but the truth is that there is a pinhole in the fabric of my being for having lost some of them.

I often wonder if the same is true for people who’ve known me – have they missed me? Wondered what I was up to? Had one last thing to say to me? Wanted some kind of closure on a time in their lives that is obviously over, but has some lasting fragments floating around their heart? And how much would it mean to me to hear those words from them? I’m guessing it would be as lovely an experience as it is to be able to do that for another; in my case, to be able to tell my new-old friend that not only am I glad that he reached out to me all these years later, but that I’m excited to get to know him all over again, and that the seeds of a relatively superficial meeting (somewhat like) a decade ago appears to have the makings of a lifelong friendship. I can tell him that I’m proud of the way he’s turned out; that I’m pleased to hear of all that he’s accomplished, and I can admit to the tiny crush I had on him way back then. I have the opportunity to tell him how my life is better for having him as a part of it, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Thank you Muhd Firdaus Aman. You are truly remarkable. Like what you often remind me, whatever the future holds, it's all up to Him (:


So, to my beloved readers out there, this is what fly me like paper, get high like planes mean to me – it gives me the chance to say all the things I'm too busy to say, or the things I think are too silly, sappy, or confessional; it lets me brighten people’s lives and in turn, brighten my own. It’s about taking advantage of every moment. We’re all here to admire the beauty and fragility of life and love, and the glass threads that bind it all together.

Rant about my A&E posting some other day. I should hit the sack right about now. On morning tmrow!

Love you much, Nin.

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Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. that’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody.

In retrospect, I find that life is way much more interesting after knowing more about human nature. The desperation needs of oneself just amused me. Supposinglly, its easier to see what motive they had in mind on others. By acting clueless as if they're not in the wrong and get back into minding to know what people are up to just show that they're in need for attention. Oh honey, if you need attention to brag, just let them know. The perfect way was not to go around bitching about others and get info's through other people, cause it would only make you look dumb. So here's the thing, i'm not gonna mention names here but practically you know who you are (not lke you're going to read here anyway, but just in case.) Ouh yes. Stop being manipulative too. Get a conscience will you? See what I mean, these people are just hillarious.

...and it's beacuse we believe that the lil one deserve so much better. We may not know what exactly is going on but we aren't that stupid either.

P/s: It's kind of unfortunate to say hello to November by putting up such entry. I cant help it. Next one is going to be something pleasant okay? Yep, promise (:

Love, N.

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Everyone of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads—at least that’s where I imagine it, there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in a while, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own little private library.

Don't ask what or why. I think it's the weather. Inevitable raindrops, inevitable thoughts? I suppose it's something along that line.

Okay let's rewind. So yesterday, after one long day of work and despite having last minute report to complete and presentation due the next day, I decided to let my hair down. Simply because;



Firstly, let me be honest. I am going to do this review in the point of being MJ's fan. Thus, im going to pass any comments or thoughts that I think will destroy the other fans' excitement and how they would label it, a definitve must-watch film. Probably some spoilers ahead yeah?

Okay go.

I cant deny the fact that it was an enjoyable night watching ‘This is it’ when I have people on my left dancing in her seat and couldnt seat still, people of the front rows back rows, singing and cheering on. It felt that MJ was vividly there, having his real life concert. It is like he is next to you in the cinema hall, an aura that radiates even off the screen!

‘You were definitely a legend, MJ’,

He will always be that one of a kind- King of Pop. The one that always be.

‘This is it’ is an honour bestowed upon this miraculous man. It’s not a documentary based on his life, but an account of his most recent dream. It’s a string of live shows in the London Arena that were to take place beginning July. It’s been compiled from footage of his stage rehearsals for the show, which was meant just for his personal library.

I kinda teared from the very first moment, as the documentary begins with excerpts from dancers who were auditioning for his show, they talk about what Micheal means to them and just how much his work affected who they are and what they strive to be. As an audience, it’s an overwhelming moment because I realize just what one person is capable of, just like what Michael has done!

So, we get to witness what goes behind creating the most awaited concert in the history of Pop music! MJ, 50 years old, on stage with dancers half his age, performing effortlessly and singing all his popular songs… Thriller, Billy Jean, Black and White, Don’t Care About Us, Smooth Criminal, Make Me Feel… ALL OF THEM. The special effects and routines top it all. With the additional magnanimous sets… it all comes to life. The Music, the Dance, the Spectacle! Fantastic!

‘This is it’ is the closest you can get to MJ, and not just to his talent, but also to Micheal, the person. It reflects just who he was and what he had created for himself. How he did what he did, his obsession for perfection, how well he understood music, and performances, and his message for the world: Love, Peace, Nature.

This is no ordinary movie or film; it can be your life-inspiring experience. Don’t let it go. The movie stays in theatres only for two weeks! So go watch it!

Love, Nin.

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Life has been bland. I'm not sure how else to describe it. Sure, each day is more exciting than the last, but at the end of it all, with insufficient time for recap, reflection, revelations, and all the other Rs of the world, it just leaves a mere mortal, tired out, wrung like a soapy sponge under the calloused hands of a violent hunter. Yes I know. What a way to describe it. Well, I get this everytime I'm having attachments. A little compromise on the social life aspects, less time idling online, a total knock out after work and whats not.

So you know whats the cure to all that?

OMGosh. I so want to eat this right now!
It's been two days of OT already. A freezing cold environment I must say. Scheduled to CSSD (Central Sterile Supply Department) and OT 5 on the first day. Pretty cool stuff over at CSSD. OT 5 aint that wow though. Only see cases like tonsillectomy; removal of tonsils. Today, was scheduled to OT 8 where I witnessed laparoscopic, open cholecyctectomy; removal of gallbladder. Definitely bloodier than yesterday. If you learn anatomy, the gallbladder's sitting on the base of the liver. Not too sure how to put it in words here, but what the surgeons did was to cut and scrape it off the liver. I felt kinda sick when he pierced through the gallbladder to remove those stones in them. Just dont imagine. heh. Now im doubting if OT's for me in the future. hmmm... Cases completed two hours before off duty. So hopped on to another theatre, more screwing and hammering of the shoulder there. Repairing the tendons maybe. Not too sure.

Scheduled to DSOT, Day Surgery Operation Theatre tmrow. Will get a chance to scrub-in and assist surgeons there. Finally hands on! Excited? much (:

On top of that, was offered to go Melbourne, Australia again for study trip, since the last one was cancelled due to H1N1. It's going to be right after PRCP. Still contemplating to go or not to go. Will need to consult Mummy and Daddy first.

Alright nuff said bout work and study trip. Just let the excitement grow if it has to. Im gonna make improvisation from the heaven-choco-licious original recipe now. Gonna hit the supermarket and get my bananas and strawberries, ice cream and chocolate hot fudge syrup, before catching the routine drama series of Jihan at 2130 hrs. Take care lovelies! I miss you much.

Ciao bananas!

Lots of love, Nin.

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Ris Low is the current hot topic. Boomz and Shingz, everyone's talking about it, and everyone's using those 2 magic words. So who says Ris Low is the loser in this context? De-throned yes, but in return, she's gained overnight fame and has even coined 2 words the whole country is using with a LOL right after. How many of us have achieved that hey?

Watch this if you havent.



On a similar note, I wonder why some people are just so critical about everything/everybody. Yeah I know I've had my share of laughs at the Ris Low ridicule and other stuff but sometimes I think people just take it too far? Okay, away from the topic of RL, I hate it when people have some laughs at the expense of others. No name dropping here but it's starting to irritate me how some people put down others constantly. Like, does it make them feel better when they discuss about another's imperfections? Yes, to a certain extent, I guess I've been guilty for laughing along and not standing up, proving or taking a stronger stand on all these crap. So I shall make it a point to not entertain or encourage such childish 'discussions'. Simply said, not be bothered.

Just needed to get this off my chest, cause it has been bothering me so. One of the ugly sides of human nature. Its just like bullying, where the bully bullies his victim for the sake of his ego. So if making fun of someone makes you feel better about yourself, I think you need some help. Maybe you seriously need.

I'll rest my case for now.

Love, N.

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So, yesterday happened. Im not going to waste my time, energy and effort babbling about it in detail here. Everything turned out to be like what I vision it to be. There wasnt any explosive conclusion towards the end. BUT I made myself clear. I took my stand, and im holding on to it firmly. That's my final decision. Jerk, face it, they won. Be prepared though, IF you decide to start throwing a bitch fit on me again.

"Because I have plenty and you don't have one."
That's exactly where the issue lies.

"Friends". A simple word isnt it? Its uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends really? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren’t just that, they’re the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They’re the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don’t judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. We all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughters and smiles. We’re tied together by love for each other. Friendship is one of the greatest things in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. Apart from the family, my friends are also a vital part of my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life.

Specially for those who made time to be there for me physically;






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P/s: More pictures on FB.

Lots of love, Nin.

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Ever had that one person in your life that you just can’t give up on, the one person that can screw you over time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance, and no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it’s a lie because there’s always just one more waiting for them. The one person you know you’re better off without but yet you can’t find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn’t know what to do without them. The one person you know doesn’t deserve you, but yet you choose to over look it because you love him...

I've yet to learn that it's you (:

Goodnight all!

Love, Nin.

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