Monday, August 03, 2015

Teh Bujang Raya 2015

Teh Bujang Raya 2015!
We have grown in physical size and numbers! hahaha
Pictures and videos mashup!

Friday, August 08, 2014

Just wait.. can't you?

Even now, all possible feelings do not yet exist, there are still those that lie beyond our capacity and our imagination. From time to time, when a piece of music no one has ever written or a painting no one has ever painted, or something else impossible to predict, fathom or yet describe takes place, a new feeling enters the world. And then, for the millionth time in the history of feeling, the heart surges and absorbs the impact.

A drop milk in a bowl of blood.

On 19th of September 2012, I wrote,

That moment when you’re so sad, and you just want someone to comfort you but then you end up crying alone in your room. That moment when you feel so exasperated beyond endurance and you don’t know how to compose yourself. That moment when you just can’t get the heavy load off your chest, despite million of attempts.

I stared at blank spaces, oblivious to the sorrounding, with my mind doing the thing it is best at whenever I’m in a somber mood. Crafting pictures of events, faces of people - unifying all the bits and pieces with the force of my memory. Everything had the texture of a dream; some parts seemed obscure, while others, still vivid in my mind.

Okay okay tak boleh frown, nanti ade wrinkles.
Tarik nafas, exhale, calm down, senyums. :)

I need to talk to Syahir and whine. and everything's gonna be alright.
He's been sucha dear recently (;


I cried upon reading the above. I wished I haven't scrolled down. Years later, pouring out and venting made him angry :'(

Sunday, February 09, 2014


Dont know what else to say. the emotions within, contained and confined. Thank you for always being by my side. And of course you should know, from the bottom of my heart, with or without cupcakes, I still LOVE YOU very much Muhd Syahir!

Week's been tough, i do not know how else to amplify the madness I, we (for that matter), have gone through. Work hasnt been that great either. will be on chronic night after so long and whats taking it up to another level of challenge; LAAU audit on night shifts. like seriously? -.-

Let us all brave through audits at least till end of March.

One of those random updates.


Sunday, August 25, 2013

Love is not about putting up a front. Love is not about acknowledging the other party's relationship solely in name. Love is so much more.

Love is slow, steady yet gives you a rush to the head. Love is about creating sparks. Love is learning to talk with your hearts yet being able to talk about anything underneath the blanket of stars. Love is affectionate. Love is being able to touch, giving hugs sparingly and excessively, planting kisses. Love is about sharing. Love is wanting to share everything and being a tad bit too excited about sharing. Love is about listening and exchanging laughs. Love is knowing how to tickle. Love is about raising your shoulder and carefully guiding a crying face to your shoulder. Love is knowing how to comfort. Love is saying things and meaning them. Love is keeping promises. Love is stealing glances in the midst of a crowd of friends. Love is wanting to be constantly beside each other. Love is never wanting to be apart. Love is not bearing to not talk despite angry selfs. Love is knowing how to put the angst aside and resolving issues. Love is saying things to appease the other. Love is never ever going to bed angry. Love is being able to sieve out deeper emotions from words on the surface. Love is knowing what the other party does not mean to say. Love is not caring what others think. Love is about priority. Love is not egoistical. Love is thinking about the better good of things. Love is about small reminders of love. Love is about daily morning hellos and bedtime goodnights. Love is sending hearts. Love is being sickeningly romantic. Love is wanting to make the other happy. Love is knowing when they're not. Love is wondering if she is hiding in her room crying. Love is not hanging up when she's crying. Love is wanting to help wipe away the tears.


Friday, May 03, 2013

self reminder (:

He's not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you (:

And so it's the 3rd again. ;)

We may had endless differences, we may had endless problems, but we endlessly make it up to one another, I can never ask for more.

Thank you for being the best.

Much much love,

Thursday, May 02, 2013

"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you"

They say life is full of ups and downs. At almost quarter life, I can safely tell you that it's true. If all you experience in life is ups, you haven't experienced life at all. You will have your days of being frustrated, be it at yourself or your loved ones. You will have your days of pure bliss and then wonder why it cannot last through the year. You will spend days bickering, quarreling, having arguments. But through these, you realise things you haven't realise before. You will make new decisions based on these. People will always ask you "when are you getting married?" If you feel worried that you haven't had these thoughts yet, don't. Marriage is for life. You will know when the time is right. People get married for different reasons. Some get married to start a family straight away, some get married to spend time together with his/her partner in a new home filled with new experiences. Don't let the choices of others around you get to you or affect you in any way. Nonetheless, on a totally different note, I'm quite excited for mine to happen in the near future. Hehehe. Ironic much (;

Always remember to be kind, be generous, be thankful.

Monday, April 08, 2013

of sunday;

So im posting and typing this out cause im done with my pre reports and someone has died on me without a goodnight. Anywaaaay.. here's to our very first wedding recep together. Amazing how some of your friends are/became my friends too!
More to come in the near future, InsyaAllah (:

P/S: I kinda unleash the jiwang side of me yesterday. hahaha xD

Love, N.

Thursday, April 04, 2013

I think...

Human fall in love so easily because we crave things.
We crave the feeling that love brings.
The race of heart, the slight adrenaline.
It's a rush.
I don't think we fall in love so to speak, it's more of an infatuation.
We fall in land when we fall in love with a painting and how the colours swirl and burst.
It brings up emotion we never knew we had.
And when we fall in love with someone. we fall in love with their eyes, lips, fingers, the small crinkles around their eyes when they laugh.
I don't think we fall in love, actual love, with someone until much later.
Until we are done being obsessed.
Our hearts races a little slower, the adrenaline not as strong. But it's still there. Always.
It's no longer crazy ride, though.
It's a strong steady beat.
One that we know and are comfortable with, just like how we had become comfortable with the sound of our hearts beating as one.

Have a good day ahead lovelies.

Tuesday, April 02, 2013


Dont just easily neglect an effort of a person in touch...

How does it feel when reality give you a tight slap on your face; you withdrew in silence, your heart twinge at almost every word said, you retreat by circumstances without any chances or attempts on justifications… How does it feel when every word became a potential danger; Every word brings a different kind of pain, even though it serves the same purpose or mere repetitions, it elevates pain to a greater level. When all these months and years you thought you know what pain felt, but this pain appears to be something you’ve never come across… How do you feel when your self-esteem and self-confidence slowly detach themselves from you, because you never appreciated their existence. Hope and faith no longer embrace you like they did before. Patience no longer serve you because you took your own patience for granted… How do you feel when the thoughts of future now no longer bring you happiness, but it reiterate the fear that you have in you?

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Those little things

Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me

I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile,
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine

But i'll love them endlessly

I won't let this little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things

You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that i keep
Though it makes no sense to me

I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans

You're perfect to me

I won't let this little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things

You never love yourself half as much as i love you
You'll never treat yourself right darling but i want you to
If i let you know, i'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like i love you oh

I've just let these little things slips out of my mouth
'Cause it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to
And i'm in love with you (and all these little things)

I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
but if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you, and all your little things.

-One direction

Friday, October 05, 2012

15 reasons to date a Nurse

How does a nurse convince someone outside the medical field that beneath that strange work schedule and work stories about bodily functions, there’s a great partner?

1. You’ll Never Have to Self-Diagnose Again
Dating a nurse means you’ll have on-call support 24/7.

2. Nurses Are Compassionate
Part of a committed relationship is putting someone else’s needs above your own from time to time. If you’re dating a nurse, you can count on them to be a dedicated and patient person who knows how to listen.

3. Nurses Are Smart
Along with sense of humor and good looks, intelligence ranks at the top when it comes to desirable qualities in a mate. Nurses have to take countless science classes in nursing school and think on their feet all day once they start working. If you’re dating a nurse, you can be pretty sure you aren’t dating a dummy.

4. Nurses Have Seen It All
One of the hardest parts about the courtship process is how easily we’re embarrassed. We all try to present perfect versions of ourselves to the people we’re dating in the beginning stages of a relationship. The only problem: nobody’s perfect. Nurses have seen every body type and bodily function. It doesn’t mean people who date nurses can ignore hygiene and proper decorum, but it does mean nurses may be a bit more understanding of normal human imperfections.

5. Nurses Have Nerves of Steel
Accidents are bound to happen. What kind of mishaps you ask? Anything from a paper cut to the kind that has you unexpectedly running for the bathroom door after too many glasses of wine. If you’re dating a nurse, you can rest assured it’s nothing their nerves of steel can’t handle. Be glad that they might actually be inclined to think it’s cute and want to take care of you. 

6. A Nurse’s Schedule is Anything But Ordinary
If your lifestyle caters to it, the odd hours can be an advantage. Are you stuck working the graveyard shift for your security job every Friday? If you’re dating a nurse, with the same irregular schedule, Mondays can become the new Friday. Say goodbye to long lines at the movie theater and the 45-minute wait at your favorite restaurant. 

7. Nurses Are Great to Introduce to Mom and Dad
In this economy, having a good job is nothing to scoff at. Nurses make a respectable living, and people look up to them for doing important work that helps people. And if things go well in a relationship, at some point it will be time to meet the parents. Telling the ‘rents that you’re dating a nurse will make that meeting easier, right from the start.

8. Nurses Make Great Parents
We mentioned how nurses are compassionate and not as squeamish about bodily functions. Not coincidentally, those qualities also make them great parents. You might not be worried about that on a first date, but who knows, it may become something you think about later!

9. Nurses Can Help Keep You Safe
Nurses know CPR, first aid, and some even know how to perform surgical procedures. If any medical emergency arises, they’ll know what to do and stay calm throughout the process. You know that saying, “It’s always nice to have a doctor in the house”? Well, the same applies to nurses. However, don’t expect special treatment every time you’re under the weather. Nurses take care of sick people all day, the last thing they want to do is the same thing at home.

10. Nurses Have Great Stories
Whether they work in an emergency room, a pediatrician’s office or a mental health facility, nurses come across some pretty crazy situations. While some of those situations may be tough on the nurse you’re dating, they can lead to some pretty entertaining stories for you (with all names omitted and confidentiality laws followed, of course).

11. You Might Get to See the World
Dating a travel nurse? Their nomadic lifestyle could give you the opportunity to travel, see, and live in new cities. Life on the road isn’t always easy, but for the right person, this could be a dream come true. Some people would give anything to get out and see the world with someone they love.

12. You’ll Learn to Talk the Talk
“Frequent flyer”? “Jack in the box”? “Crispies”?! No, we’re not talking about jetsetters, children’s toys, or the popular Kellogg’s cereal. We’re referring to medical jargon that only a bona fide nurse would understand. Snuggle up next to your favorite nurse (the one you’re dating, of course) and make sense of all this mumbo jumbo that continually pops up on your favorite TV shows like Nurse Jackie and HawthoRNe.

13. The Scrubs
Who doesn’t love a man or woman in a uniform? Ok, so maybe scrubs aren’t the sexiest uniform, but you have to admit, they can be pretty darn cute. Besides, if you’re ever in a situation where you need to pick out their work outfit, it should be a breeze.

14. Nurses Are Active
The thing about having a job where you’re on your feet all the time is that you’re constantly moving. Therefore, you might find that nurses are apt to be in better shape than the average desk jockey.

15. Nurses Rock!
Last but not least: who WOULDN’T want to date a nurse? They‘re amazing! Becoming a nurse is no easy task, and these individuals have persevered through thick and thin. You can sleep at night knowing that the nurse you’re dating is doing something good in this world – even when they aren’t with you.

Article by: Crystal Akins & Steve Berman | NursingLink

Monday, October 01, 2012

we came and we conquered

 No matter how plant she can be, we've grown to be even closer than before.
someone who would cry with me through the night (literally).
hahaha, and then we would question ourselves, why? love you!

 and then there were three.
my favourite remaining batch girls. will definitely miss Mich and YJ.
will miss YJ so much :(

 and the reason why I smile and look forward coming to work everyday. them. needless to say.

 gaaaah.... I'll miss YJ :(

To the one who always pampers me at work, who wipe away my tears, who gives me forehead kisses when i cried...
and no matter how hard things have been for you on your side, always remember you have us. you've given us so much more than we could return you. stay strong and always know we've got your back. You know we love you! *huggs & kisses*

Thursday, September 20, 2012


I think, in the end, you love the people who bother to spend time with you. Whether it's due to pure desperation from one party or both, or just simple companionship. Im so thankful that I am still able to relieve the old times. thankful that some things havent change much since graduation.

Positively addicted to X-factor. Some are just ridiculously funny. it's tickling my thoughts now. Some made me cry. like a baby. Nana, have yet to sent me the other links! and oh yesss.. Glee season 4 is back! I've watched the first episode twice, and twice I cried! see what I mean? hehe...

Sleep now?

I’m being asphyxiated by your fabrication and umpteen little white lies. It’s time for a gulp of air &  kick myself to surface. That’s the only way to save myself.

No one has the right to judge us because no one really knows what we have been through. They may have heard about our stories, but they never did once felt what we felt in our hearts.

In life you can never be too kind or too fair; everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.

For now, we may be the brightest of shooting stars. But we might be blinded to any other light that might shine brighter, there might be more fishes in the sea, there might be more stars in the sky. Or we might just burned out.

It’s just a matter of time.

Sometimes someone comes into your life that changes everything. Raises the standards, makes you laugh, and makes you feel like you. There is something about him that you cant put into words and even though you're not with him, you dont want to let him go.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Some springs, apples bloom too soon.
The trees have grown here for a hundred years, and are still quick
to trust that the frost has finished. Some springs,
pink petals turn black. Those summers, the orchards are empty
and quiet. No reason for the bees to come.

Other summers, red apples beat hearty in the trees, golden apples
glow in sheer skin. Their weight breaks branches,
the ground rolls with apples, and you fall in fruit.

You could say, I have been foolish. You could say, I have been fooled.
You could say, Some years, there are apples.


I still have yet to come up with an adequate piece of reflections for the whole new mysterious- mission-impossible agenda.
First week and a half of work has been interesting, it feels like I've been working AND schooling for a very long time. I feel OLD.
Many more weeks to go!

Now I understand the woes of working under an unpopular person. However, it has perks because everyone sympathizers with you, and when you share stories, they laugh and add on to it.

Contemplating posting cryptic semi-poetic facts of reflection and keep them guessing.

Urgh. It's already 0248hrs. I was suppose to be asleep an hour ago after saying goodnight to Syahir. Probably the one and only guy that will layan me at odd hours now. H dont even give a hoot these days. Despair is not the word. but.... okay. Let's not get there.

Work in a few hours time. and then school for Socio presentation. Wish me luck.

Need loads of it.



that tinge of despair

A drop of milk in a bowl of blood.

That moment when you’re so sad, and you just want someone to comfort you but then you end up crying alone in your room. That moment when you feel so exasperated beyond endurance and you don’t know how to compose yourself. That moment when you just can’t get the heavy load off your chest, despite million of attempts.

I stared at blank spaces, oblivious to the sorrounding, with my mind doing the thing it is best at whenever I’m in a somber mood. Crafting pictures of events, faces of people - unifying all the bits and pieces with the force of my memory. Everything had the texture of a dream; some parts seemed obscure, while others, still vivid in my mind.

Okay okay tak boleh frown, nanti ade wrinkles.
Tarik nafas, exhale, calm down, senyums. :)

I need to talk to Syahir and whine. and everything's gonna be alright.
He's been sucha dear recently (;