If bleak was a colour, my life would have been splash-painted with it. And if that isnt already enough, I still get kind of affected! Like wth right, I know. I mean, okay it's not that I havent been feeling it at all at all, but i’ve always been able to hide it you know? But now omg I think it's showing just abit, though it's gone unnoticed, I still dont want to feel it! Geez. Stupid “Protected: 1496; You cannot reject but you can choose to ignore.” Tsk.
Im officially suffering from post-traumatic-camp effect. No. I didnt help out full time this season. Not even close to part time. I was virtually there but spiritually not. whatever. Those (supposedly anticipating) night sessions brought me close to self-destruction not just once, but TWICE. I thought first night was already bad enough. the second was worse and i bet it's gonna prolong till...whenever.
And after yesterday, I start concluding that being sensible is not a WOW thing afterall. I hate being the oh-sensible one. atleast to some people. yes. people, NOT person. It's bad enough dealing with one pair. I dont need another one. I dislike the platform im standing. as in right now, right at this moment. MIND-NUMBINGLY MUNDANE = NON-STOP THINKING. It's driving me nuts. I'm in that hate-everyone-in-this-world feeling now :( omg I'm so angry, boiling like mad cos I keep thinking how annoying people can be. To add on to this madness, all my usual confidante(s) (like bf and my clown) are out of town and they are virtually non-contactable. this is oh-so-terrible. eeeeeee!
On a lighter note, I met Rudy at uncle Razak's wedding invitation today. It was very unexpected. and Daddy thought his expression and reaction was priceless! hahaha! Rudy, you owe me stories and I just remembered that i didnt tell you the supposed biggest secret of the century when i got supposedly high! (an inside joke.) I have to tell you things because I just feel the need! But then again, hmmm..
okay. I’M BORED ALREADY, one week of holidays are gone? Philharmonic Youth Winds concert this coming 23rd and Retail Therapy with the girls the next day? I've yet to come out with a shopping list. and I've got no bright idea of what to get for the gift exchange party; help.
Lots of love, Nin.
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