social life review

I guess its time to post an entry that is not so private. anyways these past 3 weeks has really been an emotional and very busy 3 weeks of my life. I have realise more things and have experience more then I think I ever wanted to handle. From the busy lifestyle of doing my FINALS, going out with friends, late night supper with the usuals (thats ink up with loads of surprises), driving around and also haunting challenges against myself along with a sore throat making me sound like a guy, a horrible cough and many faint spells. I can honestly say I have been faced with so many over whelming situations and also disappointing situations which has somehow caused me to feel more alone then I have been in a long time. but I learn that life is always gonna be full of disappointments and its how you make out of it. It's such a cliché line but it's very true.

I feel like a total bitch sometimes. It's like ive been missing a precious someone, thanks to work and busy schedule, and even if we get to see each other, I wont be comfortable talking about certain issues when others are around. and sometimes too, the lighten cheerful atmosphere doesnt allow me to talk it out. you know about not spoiling the scene? Technology like handphones dont do wonders. It's limited how you want to express somethings sometimes. Get the drift? hopefully I'll find that right time soon.

and then I have someone, who went missing for months, probably more than half a year, texting me and asking me out for a catch up. weird. but I reluctantly accepted the offer. the feeling of old times wasnt exactly there. but good try. I dont know what ive got myself into. I felt that somehow my feelings got cheated. now I dont know what to feel. dont even know who's the right person to rant it to.

next, I have people who loves talking about the future and then get all stressed up by it. all the "what ifs". and then playing pretend and thinking what if it really happens in the future. what if it all work out well? why not give it a shot? BUT what if it's a total flip too? and if fantasy is how you wanna escape from all these, grow up and just face the reality. till when are you/we gonna be like this?

So now, what about someone who's serving the nation and wanting to persue more than a friendship status? The one who made me feel comfortable each time we hold conversations. the one who wants to cry and sit silently with me back then. Whats holding me back? Probably get over and done with serving the nation, and I'll be more certain by then. Too early to say. dont you think?

the last one, someone who has a long distant crush (Singapore to Spain over!) and thinks that it would not work out for them both and wants to take me as a rebound? not too sure if im up for this kind of challenge, but the feelings we share all these while tempts me to take the risk. I dont know. jump and probably get drowned? or jump and wait for a lifeguard to save? I dont know. I really dont.

By now, you should have guessed. my social life is kinda complicated. twisted here and there. decisions are to be made. but im not confident at all. Other then that, rest assured, I am alright. and if I should name one person who would figure this mess sooner or later, it's none other than my bestfriend, Amina Maisara. I love you okay! (:

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Anyway, after saying all these, I am glad that all these while, I still have Mummy to comfortably talk to. She was just there to hear me out. and I am really blessed and thankful for having both Mummy and Daddy trusting me. Alot if I may add. I know recently Ive been out late and all, but i am thankful again that they trusted my friends. The last thing I wanna do was to break their trust. InsyaAllah, I wont. I love you both, Mummy and Daddy!

Lots of love, Nin.